OFFICE DARES - NEW OBJECTIVE FOR THE WEEK
ONE-POINT DARE
- Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you
- To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace
- Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, 'Sorry I really prefer it this way
- Walk sideways into the photocopier
- While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open
- When in the lift with another person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you
- Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy….'
- Don't use any punctuation
- Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
- Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen
- Say to your boss, 'I like your style', wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers
- Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting
- Every time you get an email, shout "email!"
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso
- Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do it shout 'Dammit, it's happened again!'. Then do it again.
- Introduce yourself to a new colleague as 'the office bicycle'. Then wink and pout
- Call IT helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any p*rnography websites
- At the end of a meeting, suggest that for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself)
- Walk into a very busy persons office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times
- For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Dave'
- Announce to every one in a meeting that you 'really have to go do a number two'
- After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: 'The reports on your desk, Mon'.
- In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, 'Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!'
- Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: 'Do you hear that?' 'What?' 'Never mind it's gone now'
- Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
- During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk
- Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer
- Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean into the machine and whisper loudly, 'I'll see you tonight'
seaandsuns - 25. Aug, 08:46
